Tuesday Sept 25, 2007

Tobeys feeling better today. Last Thursday the school called me and said he was sick, headache, nausea. So we went to pick him up. He had the flu, swollen throat. 1st sickness of the year. I dread it , sooo very much. I have a problem of panicking when he gets sick. I don’t know why it just happens- i wish i could just relax. I think it started when he had pneumonio at 3. That was the most scariest time of my whole life,  the thought of him having a life threatening illness …… i just don’t know if i could handle that again. I have to think and keep saying to myself that God is with us and HE will keep us healthy and safe. I think thats what keeps me sane. I don’t know what else to do.

I’m sitting at my desk, working working. Seems thats all i do but thats ok. The thought of Darwin losing his job is so scarey, i push it out of my mind but its still back there, just hanging there, haunting me. So much to pay for , to buy… i can’t imagine him NOT having a job.  Things are going so well now and Christmas and Tobey’s birthday will be here soon, it comes so quickly, this whole year has just flown by, so fast.. i just can’t believe summers over. I loveeeeeeeee summer, i can’t get enough of the warmth, the sun beating on my skin. It seems like i’m pouring out my soul today. I guess i’m feeling sad that Tobeys in school and i have a hard time with him being gone all day long. I better go now and get to work, lots to do today.

bw with effect

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